The purpose of this book is to familiarise you with the solution-focused psychology which can help you improve your relationship with children and enjoy more raising them.
The book has been written to all adults who raise or participate in raising children*. It is aimed at family (such as parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, stepparents, etc.) as well as at all any other adults who as part of their work participate in raising children (such as nannies, teachers, principles, sport coaches etc.).
CONTENT
Foreword
Chapter 1. How to praise and encourage children?
1. Thanking
2. Gossip praise
3. Non-verbal praise
4. Praise through questions
5. Praise for trying
6. Playful praise
Aversion to praise
Preventing praise jealousy
Comparing children to one another
Chapter 2. How to get children to comply?
1. Connect-thumb
2. Request-finger
3. Justify-finger
4. Encourage-finger
5. Deal-finger
Chapter 3. How to get on the same page with the other adults caring for the child?
Suggestion 1. Avoid criticising the other adult
Suggestion 2. Promote cooperation ahead of time
Suggestion 3. Consent goes a long way
Suggestion 4. Ask for advice
Suggestion 5. Talk about learning skills - not about problems
Suggestion 6. In case you need a stricter approach
Suggestion 7. Transform criticism into a conversation
Chapter 4. How to help children overcome problems and difficulties?
What skill should the child learn?
Motivating the child
Supporting the child
Chapter 5. How do respond to children's wrongful actions?
Coach the child to take responsibility for the action
Step 1. Discuss the incident with the child
Step 2. Help the child understand why it is wrong to do so.
Step 3. Help the child to think about what to apologise and how.
Step 4. Help the child to think about how they can repair the harm.
Step 5. Ask the child to promise not to do the same again and help them think about what they need to do to be able to keep the promise.
Step 6. Ask the child to tell you how they would guide another child who has done something similar
What if the child does not admit to having done anything wrong?
Summing up
Literature and materials
Other books by Ben Furman
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