Sensitivity is that warm feeling that connects us to others, allowing us to understand without words and to feel what remains unspoken. It is an innate gift that grants us the ability to empathize, love, and deeply perceive the emotions of those around us. Those who possess this gift see the world through the eyes of the heart, finding beauty even in the simplest things.

Let’s talk about the wonderful book The Gift of feeling by Paul Tournier.

The book The Gift of feeling: The Role of Women by Paul Tournier delves deeply into the role of women in society and their unique influence through their emotional and empathetic nature. It highlights women's ability to adapt to the male-dominated world, proving their competence in roles traditionally reserved for men. However, Tournier argues that this adaptation does not solve the fundamental issue; rather, he emphasizes the importance of nurturing and enhancing women's innate qualities instead of forcing them to conform to standards that may not align with their true nature.

The book sheds light on the intrinsic value of sensitivity and empathy that women possess, emphasizing that these qualities are not weaknesses but rather precious gifts that contribute to building a more humane and understanding society. From this perspective, Tournier calls for a reassessment of traditional gender roles and recognition of the power embedded in women's empathetic nature.

This book serves as an invitation to reflect on how societies value different human qualities and the importance of acknowledging the unique role women play in strengthening human connections and fostering a more balanced and understanding world.

About the Author: Paul Tournier

Paul Tournier (1898–1986) was a Swiss physician and writer known for his pioneering work in pastoral counseling, integrating spiritual and psychological aspects into patient care. He is considered one of the most influential Christian doctors of the 20th century.

Born in Switzerland, Tournier lost both his parents at an early age and was raised by his uncle and aunt. At the age of twelve, he embraced Christianity and actively participated in church activities. He studied medicine at the University of Geneva, where he earned his medical degree and began his career as a general practitioner.

After years in general practice, Tournier shifted his focus to pastoral counseling, emphasizing the importance of holistic care that considers psychological, social, and spiritual dimensions. In 1940, he founded The Medicine of the Whole Person Group, bringing together doctors and therapists to discuss comprehensive approaches to healing.

His notable works, translated into multiple languages, include:

• The Meaning of Persons: A deep exploration of human personality.
• The Strong and the Weak: Examining the balance between strength and vulnerability in human nature.

Tournier is recognized for his groundbreaking approach in integrating spirituality and psychology in healthcare, offering a profound understanding of the interconnection between body, mind, and soul.

Writing Style of Paul Tournier in The Gift of Feeling

In The Gift of Feeling: The Role of Women, Paul Tournier employs an analytical yet direct style, drawing from his experiences as a physician and psychotherapist. He explores the role of women in society, highlighting their adaptation to traditionally male-dominated fields. However, he argues that mere adaptation does not resolve the core issue. Instead, he encourages women to redefine their presence in modern Western civilization by fostering personal relationships and emotional commitment, especially in a society that prioritizes objectivity over emotional depth.

Tournier emphasizes the importance of transitioning from an objective stance to personal commitment—an insight he himself experienced at the age of thirty-four. He discovered how meaningful relationships enriched his life and those around him, fostering openness and emotional expression beyond academic or intellectual learning.

His writing in this book demonstrates a deep appreciation for women's natural traits, such as sensitivity and empathy, and underscores how these qualities can contribute to creating a more compassionate and understanding society.

Selected Chapters from The Gift of Feeling

1. Objective Relationships vs. Personal Relationships Tournier distinguishes between objective relationships, which are based on facts and material concerns, and personal relationships, which are rooted in emotions and deep human connection. He argues that modern society has become increasingly objective, causing human relationships to lose much of their depth.
2. The World of Things vs. The World of People The book explores the contrast between the "world of things," which prioritizes materialism, technology, and scientific advancement, and the "world of people," which values emotions and human relationships. Tournier critiques society’s emphasis on material progress at the expense of emotional well-being, highlighting the need for balance—something women are naturally inclined to restore.
3. Western Civilization Since the Renaissance This chapter examines how cultural shifts since the Renaissance have shaped human relationships. Tournier argues that technological and scientific progress has diminished spiritual values and heightened individualism and rationality. He stresses that women play a crucial role in restoring balance by fostering emotional connections in an increasingly fact-driven world.
4. Women’s Unique Sensitivity Tournier highlights women's natural ability to form deep personal connections and understand others' emotions intuitively. This sensitivity is a key strength that helps maintain warmth and harmony in both family and society.
5. The Fear of Emotion The author discusses how both men and women often fear expressing deep emotions due to concerns about vulnerability or rejection. He emphasizes that this fear can lead to emotional detachment in relationships and underscores the importance of embracing emotions as a vital aspect of human experience.
6. Women at Home and in the Workplace This chapter addresses the challenges women face in balancing traditional family roles with professional responsibilities. Tournier examines societal pressures that make women feel torn between these two domains and advocates for recognizing the value of both roles.
7. The Condition of Women The book explores the evolving status of women in modern society and the contradictions they face between freedom, independence, and traditional expectations.
8. Indecision Tournier delves into the issue of indecisiveness that many women experience when making crucial life decisions, whether personal or professional. He attributes this hesitation to societal pressures and the conflict between emotion and logic, encouraging women to cultivate self-confidence.

Who Should Read The Gift of Feeling?

This book is recommended for:

1. Women interested in personal development – especially those seeking deeper insights into their roles in society, work, and family.
2. Anyone interested in human relationships – as the book offers valuable perspectives on the nature of emotional connections.
3. Psychologists and family counselors – who can benefit from Tournier’s analysis of emotions, fear of vulnerability, and the balance between logic and feeling.
4. Scholars of gender studies and social sciences – as the book critically examines the evolving role of women in society.
5. Anyone struggling with indecision or emotional conflicts – as the book provides an understanding of the roots of these emotions and ways to navigate them.

If you’re looking for a book that enhances your understanding of emotional relationships and the significance of sensitivity in a world driven by objectivity, The Gift of Feeling is an excellent choice.